Family Vacations

Laughes and Memories

EXPECTATIONS

It’s that time of year again:

Time for family vacations.

It’s a good time to rethink some things like perfectionism, expectations, and the meaning of the word “vacation.”

First of all, we call it a “vacation,” but if you’re the parent, it isn’t going to be one.

Maybe I was slow, but it took me quite a while to figure out that I, the parent (and a single-parent at that), was going to work even harder on a family vacation than at home, and that it wouldn’t be a relaxing time for me.

After all, I was taking the boys to new places where they would be full of new ideas, and it always required more supervision than at home.

As soon as we hit the beach, outrageous demands began. One ran one way, the other another. Being in a new place, they weren’t sure what the rules were, and they had to be re-established. Being around new things, they weren’t always as cautious as they should be, and I had to be vigilant.

They got sick, got fishing hooks in their thumbs, stepped on man-o-wars, the rental car got a flat, the resort room’s air conditioning broke and we had to pack up and change rooms, and more than once someone was throwing up all night long.

While we always had a wonderful time, and I always returned happy (and of course the kids did), I often returned more tired than when I’d left!

I began to name these “The Kids’ Vacations”instead of "Family Vacations" just so I kept my expectations in line with reality, and to plan vacation-vacations for myself – getaways where I could relax in ways I needed to.

The Kids’ Vacations were for having fun as a family! Kids don’t need a “family vacation.” They’re always high energy and on-the-go, yes?

Here are some things to keep in mind as you plan and take the family vacation that can keep you from unrealistic expectations which will erode your experience:

1.Kids are likely to become more boisterous on a vacation, because of all the new fun things. New experiences and new situations will present things they haven’t encountered before, so you have to be on guard about their safety on a constant basis.

Try and GO rested; don’t plan on COMING HOME rested.

[You can come back here to plan your own "getaway" without the kids.]

2.Think of it as a fun adventure for the family where you get to know one another better and spend time together under new circumstances. Then whatever happens will fall in line.

3.There are more options all the time where childcare is also available. Many resorts and cruise lines offer programs for children and teens that provide great activities, supervision, and a chance for them to make new friends, while giving you some adult time to yourself. Consider this option where available.

4.Consider bringing along a mother’s helper, or older niece or nephew, or willing grandmother to help with the children. [OR, a reliable teenager your kids know and you trust. It will be worth it.]

5.Because it’s all new, anticipate some irregularities, and relax into the situation. It’s typical when we get stressed to tighten up and become rigid and this only makes things worse.

Use your emotional intelligence to be flexible and creative.

If your child has never been fishing before, or never been to a bit-city museum, you can’t anticipate all the things they can go wrong, so don’t be surprised if they do.

It’s part of new learning experiences. If they’ve never participated in formal night, their table manners may not be quite in line. Anticipate what you can. Deal with what happens.

6.If you intend to have a great time together, don’t let anything get in your way. There’s no reason why a visit to the ER should “ruin your vacation,” any more than a few tantrums, some embarrassing table manners, a flat tire, or missed plan connections should.

Your experience of your vacation is in your own hands.

7.Plan ahead for the predictable – high spirits, moments of boredom, and fights with siblings.

You’ve dealt with these at home, and they will accompany you on your trip. Think of ways to deal with these under new circumstances – in the car, plane, resort, tourist sights, and be prepared with the materials you need.

A kit with magic markers, some ear phones, a journal or a good book to read, [video games and personal walk-man or MP3 or IPod] can make the difference.

8.Anticipate testing of the limits. It will only throw you if it comes as a surprise. Children do this in any new situation, and a vacation is full of them.

Apply the same measures you do at home – make it clear where the boundaries are, be consistent, pleasant, and anticipate the best.

9.Understand that children will rev up for a vacation, not calm down. Some adults do this as well, of course.

Some of us plan vacations where we can relax and rest; others plan mountain-climbing adventures, and barefoot sailing.

Some of us plan both! Be mindful about what comes with the territory.

10.Allow times for children to work off their energy. Plan breaks during long car trips. Take them for a run on the beach before you go to the art museum.

After the formal dinner with Aunt Betty, turn them loose in the courtyard to run around a bit.

11.Discuss expectations beforehand. Explain what you can, and what sort of behavior you expect in different circumstances.

You can’t cover everything, but you can cover a lot. One thing that’s very important with smaller children is “coming when called.”

You can also buy those harnesses for errant toddlers, for their own safety and your piece of mind.

12.Be sure and provide safety equipment – car seats, restraints, life jackets and such.

Bring along syrup of ipecac, epinephrine, and other things your physician may recommend for emergencies. Carry a first-aid kit with bandages, Neosporin and tweezers.

The same sort of equipment you have at home. Because a vacation provides new situations, accidents can be more likely to occur.

Last but not least, process after each vacation.

What did you plan well, what did you plan poorly? What worked and what didn’t? What would you do again, and what would it be best to avoid? What would you do differently?

Get the whole family involved in the discussion, so everyone becomes mindful it's supposed to be a "Family Vacations". And don’t forget the most important thing: find out what everyone enjoyed the most.

Be sure and go over the good times with the family, and make plans for more in the future.

Author: Susan Dunn, MA, Emotional Intelligence Coach & Consultant

[By all means, take plenty of pictures. Twenty years from now you will be able to laugh at your family vacation fiasco as I have.

I too was a single parent for many years and taking five children on the road by myself was not always a vacation to me, but they remember them fondly and I guess, now, so do I.

After all, they don‘t stay little and at home forever now do they?

Author: Jay Bauder

Planning your own educational trip

If it's just for school, for your kids or for the neighborhood kids, it's nice to have a purposeful educational trip that will surely be enjoyed by the children as well as teach them. Of course there is the usual trip to the museum or the so-so factory, but educational travel doesn't necessarily end with the destination, one should also consider the preparations as well as the child before you uproot them from their playgrounds.

Who should plan the Trip?

If the trip is an out of school activity, whether organized by you or the neighborhood parents, there should always be somebody or a group of people willing to dedicate a snippet of their time to organizing, everything, destination, transportation, food, lodgings (if any) as well as the children involved.

What to Bring

A pack list is also essential before a trip. Here are a few things that should be in your or your child's bag when you go on an educational trip.

- Snacks -there should be lots of drinks and walk foods that you can eat even while walking.

- First aid kit - an accident can easily happen, a small trip or a scratch should be mended easily. A medicine pack can also be handy for parents who develop headaches, or for children with stomach upset.

- Extra clothes - children are very active, and sometimes even parents can be over-active, so it is necessary that both bring a set of clothes for those unexpected spills.

- Walkie talkie - If your child can handle it, a walkie-talkie or a cellular phone can be very useful if he gets lost.

- Name tag - Attach a name tag to his shirt or to his bag containing your contact number (without a name) so that whoever finds him can contact you.

- One of his favorite toys - A good thing to distract a child when he gets uneasy during travel would be one of his favorite toys.

- Wipes and tissue- For that easy cleanup whenever you need it.

When you get there

Fall in line, and make travel buddy's of two or three; the one buddy should be responsible for the other so as to prevent anyone getting left behind. This is best done with kids who don't normally play together so they can bond and get to know each other more.

On the trip home

Encourage sleeping; children after a long walk can get cranky when tired, so bring some milk with you so they can sleep through the trip home.

Author: Eric Stephenson

Even though a lot of people have fond memories of campfires from their youth and they enjoy camping not many people know how to give their children those same fond memories from their camping trips.

Having a fun campfire, having something that will leave a very positive mark in the memory of a youth is actually pretty easy but it is something you have to practice a little and plan for a little.

Can you leave that positive memory without planning it and without a little prep work and practice? Yes you can but it's an iffy proposition at best.

See it's like this: if you want to make a lasting impression, if you want to have your kids look back at (at least part) of their childhood and have it put a smile on their face then it takes work. Believe it or not but implanting those memories of warm and happy campfire experiences is just like any other part of raising a childe in my opinion. What that means is it takes a little work and a whole lot of love.

So let's get into the list of what to do and how to plan a "spontanaeous" campfire:

1.Dusk - The time of the evening you do it at is very key to a successful campfire. Having a campfire in the middle of a sunny afternoon just doesn't have the same impact that having one as it is getting dark does.

2.S'Mores - I say s'mores but it doesn't have to be that treat, you just need to have some sort of snack that the kids really like and that they don't get very often.

This makes the campfire something special. With my kids the only time they have s'mores is when we are at a campfire. Another "bonus" to having the s'mores is that they get to play with the fire.

Boys especially, are really, really attracted to the fire and if you give them an opportunity to play in it then they will remember it. Do use some safety precautions and make sure to have at least one parent who just keeps an eye on the kids around the fire and the marshmallows themselves.

3.Best Part - This is something that a friend of mine came up with. Once you have eaten some sort of treat you all get your camping chairs and sit around the fire. You then ask everybody in your group something like: what was your most favorite part of the whole day? And you go around the campfire until each person has had a chance to talk about what the most fun part of the day was for them.

4.Wish List - This is basically the same things as the Best Part but you ask them what one thing they really want to do tomorrow? If you are leaving the campground and heading home really early in the morning the next day then you probably shouldn't ask this question. But if you get the chance, you will be amazed at some of the answers the kids will give.

5.Songs - A lot of people kind of scoff at this one but most kids really love this part of a campfire once you start doing it. You will be amazed at the variety of songs that the kids all seem to know. What we usually do is go around the campfire at least once if not twice and let the kids one at a time choose the song they want to sing and let them lead into the song and then everybody else joins in. My 9 year old son still requests "Itsy Bitsy Spider" every single time we go camping.

6.Scary Story - This item depends on the age and mentality of the children that are with you. If you have little ones or if you have kids that get scared really easily then you should skip this item. If your kids are older or they can handle it, go around the campfire and let each child that wants to tell a scary story. We don't usually have any of the parents tell stories because the kids do a better job of it themselves.

7.Add a Story - This one you can do regardless of the age of the children, you just tailor the storyline to the age of the children present. One adult will start the story and kind of get it going and then you just go around the campfire one at a time adding a sentence or two onto the story. You can go around the campfire a couple of times and then if it starts getting really out of hand you start another story and reverse the direction of the story.

If you have an adult in the group who is pretty sharp you can ask them ahead of time to keep track of the story as it develops and then recap it at the end. You would be amazed at how interesting the story gets when one person retells it beginning to end.

8.Thankful For - Ask the kids to tell everybody what they are thankful for in their lives. It could be something on the trip or it could be something else in their lives. Always start this off by asking an adult first especially if you have little ones in the group. You kind of have to show them by example. If you start doing this on a fairly regular basis and the kids get comfortable talking about this stuff in front of other kids and adults you will be shocked (in a good way) at the very interesting answers you will start to get.

9.Dreams - Ask the kids to tell the group their biggest Dream in life. I don't mean the dream they had last night while they were sleeping. I mean like what do they want to do when they grow up, where do they want to live and what kind of life they want. That kind of Dream. Little ones (under 4 or 5) might be a little young to understand and/or have an answer to this question but once they get to be a little older then that you can bet that they have started to think about that. My 7 year old has already had three different careers in his life!

10.TAPS - We always end the campfire and the day (for the kids at least) by singing the words to Taps. You can very easily find them on the web if you don't know them. The words are absolutely beautiful and the melody is so calming and serene it is the perfect ending to a very memorable and fun campfire.

I hope this list and the explanations were helpful to you. Some of my fondest memories of growing up and of spending time with my kids center around a campfire.

If you take the time to do a little bit of prep work thinking about how to get this together you will not regret it and your kids will thank you for it down the road.

Author: Jay Bauder

TIPS ON TRAVELING WITH THE FAMILY

When traveling, most would not agree with 'the more, the merrier'. But it can be! Well, it should be. Traveling with the family can be hassle- free and loaded with fun. There is no reason you shouldn't bring the kids and the entire family with you. Here are a few tips you can use for an easy, stress- free travel.

Plan with the entire family Get each family member's opinion on which places to go. Kids love it when they get involved. Make a short list of the places they want to visit and get the majority's preference. Plan simple yet fun activities for the whole family to enjoy.

Distribute tasks Help each other especially when packing. Give each one a responsibility. You can have your kids check on the first- aid kit, your husband to bring all bulky equipments and you take charge preparing the food. This way, your load can be lessened and everyone would feel the importance of each one's contribution.

Travel light Since most of the space of your car would be for people, pack only the essential things you need. If possible you can hire strollers for the kids instead of carrying one.

Transfer shampoos, mouthwash and the like in small plastic containers instead of bringing the entire thing. Remember that traveling light doesn't mean traveling incomplete. Carry all important stuff you need to bring.

Secure your house Since all of your family members are with you on the trip, you can opt to hire a house sitter. If not, have a neighbor look out for the house for you. Unplug all electrical appliances and be sure to secure all door and windows.

Be safe Always carry with you a medicine kit for emergencies. This should include aspirins, laxative, insect repellant, bandages, ointments and alcohol. More importantly, bring enough prescription drugs if any of the family members is on medication. Bring enough to last for the entire duration of the trip.

Bring in the fun Take pictures and videos to document your trip. Take turns in using the camera, this way everyone will get a memorable shot taken. You can take the pictures and put them in a nice travel journal when you get home. This way you can enjoy the fun memories as often as you want.